Bacteria Bashing!

“Thanks Postie!”

I imagine a shiny rotund white building, six stories high and set in fields of luscious green grass. Behind the modern curvaceous walls, the latest whirring and clicking gizmos sit in large fluorescently lit rooms. Devoid of life, huge silver automated machines analyse thousands of samples and churn out reams of data.

I’m somewhat disappointed, because somewhere in Essex, courtesy of Royal Mail, my package is dropping through the letterbox of a small brick-built building. Judging from the photograph, my DNA samples are in a small industrial site located in East England…wait a minute, I’m sure that’s a Renault Megane parked outside!

Ok, my illusions have been shattered somewhat but I know that in a matter of hours the four precisely labelled tubes containing my mutant bacterial DNA, will have been efficiently processed.

I have discovered that saying ‘mutant DNA’ generally raises eyebrows and occasionally a voice of concern. Fear not. When adding, deleting and altering parts of the bacterial genome it’s more likely to harm them, than us. In fact, introducing a human gene into a bacterium is hard work and often produces toxic proteins in the wee little bug. It is by chance/skill/luck (delete as necessary) that your protein is viable. Be assured that protein extraction from the nutritious bacterial soup will result in a swift demise for our sausage-shaped friends.

“PING…you have mail”

Opening the document, I quickly scan the page.

CCCGCCTAC, positive for the mutation I have introduced…let the bacteria bashing begin.

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